


No Relation

by Akira_of_the_Twilight



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Stiles Stilinski, M/M, OT3, Peter Flirts With Everyone, Polyamory, Stiles-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 15:51:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4882810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_of_the_Twilight/pseuds/Akira_of_the_Twilight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time it happened, it wasn’t so bad. It was even to Stiles’ advantage. Really.</p><p>The second time wasn’t that bad either. An easy mistake, one that anyone would make.</p><p>The third time was different though. Maybe it was because the relationship had lasted so long and had become much more serious than Stiles’ had anticipated. He couldn’t say, but the third time changed things.</p><p>-</p><p>5 + 1 Prompt. People Mistake Chris and Peter for Stiles' uncles and/or parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Relation

_The first time it happened, it wasn’t so bad. It was even to Stiles’ advantage. Really._

* * *

“What the hell is this bull crap?” Coach Finstock snatched the note from one of the office aids. The young adult flinched and backed away.

Coach Finstock skimmed the note and jeered. “Bilinski. Office. Now.” He jabbed his thumb at the door.

Stiles dropped his pen cap out of his mouth. Everyone was staring at him. Even Scott.

“I don’t know what it is I did, but I swear I didn’t do it.”

Coach Finstock snorted. “Yeah, yeah, save it for the principal. Now, get out. I need to enlighten your peers about whatever it is the hell I’m subbing in for.”

“English AP,” a small voice whispered from the back.

“If you understand me, then you pass English. Comprende?”

“Bueno.” Stiles gathered his notebook, pens and bag. “As always, Scott, if I don’t come back, clear my Internet history and folders.”

Scott nodded dutifully.

“All right, lead the way, office minion.” Stiles gestured at the door, and the office aid nodded and did as told.

Stiles tapped his fingers along the strap of his backpack as he tried to recall what he must have done recently to be called into the principal’s office. He couldn’t think of anything he would have been caught for, at least not without dragging Scott and the others down with him. Maybe he’d written an off topic paper again. He couldn’t recall such a paper, but then again, sometimes what he considered “on topic” didn’t mesh with what his teachers’ considered on topic.

The aid held the office door open for Stiles, and Stiles marched straight toward the principal’s office. He didn’t even bother with knocking; he just threw open the door.

“What’s up, Principal…” Stiles trailed off at the sight of Peter Hale sitting in the principal’s office.

“Oh good,” the principal said and stood up from her desk. “Mr. Stilinski, your uncle is pulling you out of class for the rest of the day.”

“Uncle? Peter?”

Peter stood up, and put on his most grievous expression. “Yes, Stiles, I know this must be confusing. I’ll what’s going explain on the way. We really should be going.” Peter smiled at the principal, garnering a blush from the woman. “Thank you so much for your understanding.”

“I just hope everything works out for you and your family,” the principal said.

“Thank you.” Peter clasped Stiles’ shoulder. “Come on, Stiles.” He shoved Stiles’ toward the door.

Stiles’ brain was running a mile a minute as he and Peter strolled out of the principal’s office. Stiles waited until they were out of hearing and seeing range to explode. “What the hell is going on, Peter?”

Peter’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “You’ll see in a moment.”

“Is someone dying?”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Don’t give me any of that shit.”

“Just shut up and enjoy yourself, Stiles.”

“Kind of hard to do when—” Stiles had just pushed open the doors leading into Beacon Hills High when he spotted a familiar car with a _very_ familiar driver parked outside the school.

Chris had rolled down the window and was lounging in the chair. He raised his hand in a casual wave and smirked at Stiles.

Okay, Stiles thought to himself. Peter sneaking him out of school was unusual but within character. Chris acting as the get away driver was a different story.

The three of them had only been dating for a few months—just weeks after Stiles had turned eighteen—and Chris was the no nonsense one when it came to Stiles’ education. Peter supported Stiles too, but Peter was more often the one pulling Stiles away from his homework after a couple of hours.

“Someone really is dying, aren’t they?” Stiles asked as he strolled up to the car and leaned into the window.

“Not that I’m aware of.” Chris nodded at the backseat. “Hop in.”

“I don’t know.” Stiles tapped his fingers along the window frame. “My dad always said I shouldn’t get into cars with strange men, and you and Peter are pretty strange.”

“We have candy.” Peter sauntered over to the passenger side and climbed into the car.

“Candy!” Stiles faked a squeal of delight and dove into the back of the car. He wrestled his backpack off while yanking the door shut behind him. He kicked Chris’ chair as he flailed around. He came close to swiping Peter’s head, but eventually, Stiles got the bag off.

Stiles buckled in and leaned into his seat.

A white envelope on the seat next to Stiles crossed his eye.

Frowning, Stiles picked up the envelope and flipped it over.

His name was written in Chris’ handwriting.

Stiles looked up and saw that Peter and Chris were watching him through the rearview mirror.

“This doesn’t look like candy.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Just open it.”

Stiles sensed a trap, and while he wouldn’t put anything past Peter, he doubted Chris would let any harm come to him.

With delicate care, Stiles opened the envelope and touched the object inside.

His fingers skimmed lanyard rope and plastic. Confusion filled Stiles, and he slowly removed the item.

It was a weekend pass to the comic book convention he’d been dying to go to for months. And not just one of those two-day passes, but a three-day one that started that very day.

“Holy shit! Is this what I think it is?” Stiles thrust the lanyard between Peter and Chris. “This can’t be real. You two can’t be real. Is this a test? Did I die and go to geek heaven? I thought you guys weren’t interested in conventions. No, wait, Chris, didn’t you once say there was one you went to for guns or something? Oh, Jesus, you found out I have a terminal illness, didn’t you? This is a break the bad news to you easy gift, isn’t it?”

Peter twisted in his seat and pressed a fingertip to Stiles’ lips. “Stiles, don’t make me regret agreeing to go to this ridiculous convention with you and Chris.”

“You two are actually going to come with me too? This isn’t just a drop Stiles off and see how well he survives the fandomonium kind of thing?”

“That sounds like a terrible thing for your boyfriends to do to you,” Chris answered.

Stiles dropped his jaw, speechless. He croaked out a sound then swallowed. “I think I just fell a little bit in love with you two.”

* * *

 

_The second time wasn’t that bad either. An easy mistake, one that anyone would make._

* * *

“And would your dad like anything?” The barista smiled widely as she entered Stiles’ order in the register.

It took a moment for Stiles to process what the barista had said. His immediate reaction had been befuddlement and to scan the café for his dad, who was supposed to be on duty. After a quick recon of the area, realization dawned on Stiles.

He grinned knowingly at Chris, who was standing behind him and examining the menu.

“He’s my boyfriend, actually.” Stiles beamed with pride at the girl. “Handsomest silver fox you ever did see, am I right?”

“Umm.” The girl turned pink with embarrassment. “He seems nice.”

“I think I’ll stick with an Americano,” Chris said, ignoring the conversation.

Stiles scoffed. “Really? You could have any drink and you stick to black and boring?”

“It’s not boring.”

“Yeah, right.” Stiles slapped down a twenty. “Get him a large. Maybe if he drinks enough he’ll start bouncing off the walls. I’d pay to see that.”

“Sure.” The girl glanced hesitantly up at Chris then punched in the order and gave Stiles’ his change.

Stiles linked his arm through Chris’ as they waited for their drinks to be made. He paid no mind to the curious glances he received from customers and the staff.

Yeah, he knew what everyone was probably thinking, seeing someone his age cozying up to someone Chris’ age, but he didn’t care. Not everyone shared the same life experiences they’d had, and while there were still a lot of landmines in their relationship that had yet to be uncovered, Stiles was willing and ready to face them when the bombs finally went off.

* * *

_The third time was different. Maybe it was because the relationship had lasted so long and had become much more serious than Stiles’ had anticipated. He couldn’t say, but the third time changed things._

* * *

“Don’t look now, but I think Professor Ballado is hitting on your dad.” Veronica—Stiles’ environmental studies partner—nodded at something behind Stiles.

Stiles stopped in the middle of his drawing of one of the local plants he was assigned to document and looked behind him.

Professor Ballado was laughing at something Peter had said. She brushed her fingers across Peter’s elbow, and Peter preened, loving the stroke to his ego.

Stiles froze as his brained warred with itself about how he should proceed.

Stiles’ Jeep hadn’t started that morning, so he’d asked Chris and Peter if one of them could give him a ride to the college campus. It was about halfway through the ride that Stiles had remembered he was supposed to meet up at one of the local preserves for his environmental studies class that afternoon. He’d mentioned it to Peter, and while Peter had feigned annoyance, he had agreed to drive Stiles to the preserve.

It was only after they had arrived that Ballado offered Peter to tag along. Stiles had been pleasantly surprised when Peter had agreed to join them.

Now, Stiles wasn’t so sure.

He shifted his weight uncertainly and glanced at Veronica, who was noting something in her journal.

“Give me a minute?” Stiles asked.

“Sure.” Veronica didn’t even look up from her notepad.

Ballado and Peter were still joking around and laughing when Stiles strolled up to them.

Stiles wrapped his arms around one of Peter’s and leaned into his boyfriend’s side.

The laughter died down, and Peter maneuvered his wrist so he could squeeze Stiles’ hand. “Something wrong, Stiles?”

Stiles shook his head. “Just wanted to check on my boyfriend.”

“Oh!” Ballado’s voice squeaked. She laughed nervously. “I didn’t realize you two were dating, I thought you two were…” She trailed off, catching what she was about to say at the last second.

“An uncle or guardian?” Peter supplied. He leaned his head so his cheek pressed against Stiles’. “You’re not the first. Our relationship is quite unusual.”

“As long as it works, right?” Ballado laughed again, trying to play off the awkward situation as normal so she didn’t look like a fool or rude.

“Yeah,” Stiles mumbled.

His chest constricted with a strange emotion that was a mix of sorrow, hurt, and jealousy.

He squeezed Peter tighter, and didn’t let go well past the minute he’d promised Veronica he’d be back by.

* * *

_The mistake became a festering sore._

* * *

“Did you really bring your dads to the club?” A drunk boy from Stiles’ economics class asked. His drink sloshed over the cups rim and splashed Stiles’ shoes.

Peter had lured Chris onto the dance floor and was teasing the hunter with dance that was borderline dry humping.

Stiles used the sight of the two to temper his annoyance. “They’re my boyfriends.”

The boy had been about to swallow his beer, and ended up spitting it out into his cup. “Seriously? They’re those kind of daddies? And you got them both. Nice.” The boy held up his hand for a high five.

Stiles glared and walked away.

* * *

_Even villains of the week made the mistake!_

* * *

“Shit,” Stiles hissed as Peter accidentally jostled him. He’d injured his leg in the explosion.

Yeah, the explosion caused by a witch seeking immortality or something that required human sacrifice. Stiles was in too much pain to care about the details at the moment.

The explosion had landed Stiles, Peter, and Chris in the sewers, where they were tracking the witch down after she had made her escape.

Peter rolled his eyes and strengthened his hold on Stiles; Peter was serving as Stiles’ personal pack mule/piggyback ride.

“You said it wasn’t broken; it shouldn’t hurt that bad,” Peter said.

Stiles winced. “Yeah, I don’t think the werewolf with super strength and amazing healing capabilities should really be the one determining how much pain the human should be in.”

“Peter has a point, Stiles.” Chris frowned and glanced behind himself to eye Stiles and Peter. With Peter carrying Stiles, Chris was the first line of defense if they found the witch. He had his gun at the ready and had been keeping lookout for what lay ahead.

Chris returned his attention to what was coming up. “We should take you to the hospital once we’re out of here.”

Stiles grimaced, but didn’t argue.

Chanting echoed farther into the sewer.

The trio paused.

Chris took two steps and peered around the corner of the sewage tunnel. He nodded at Peter and Stiles.

Peter carefully lowered Stiles off his back and set Stiles on the ground.

Chris handed Stiles a gun, which Stiles took.

Chris and Peter headed down the tunnel while Stiles guarded their rear. He clamped his mouth shut against the sounds of pain that demanded release. His leg suffered under his weight.

“Ah,” the witch intoned as Chris and Peter came into her line of sight. “The hunter and the werewolf, but no boy. Must have died in the explosion with his little friends.”

Chris and Peter didn’t say anything, but circled around the witch.

“Angry I see. It must be terrible losing your child like that. Most parents wouldn’t recover.”

The vein in Stiles’ forehead throbbed with irritation and his blood boiled. He took two steps forward so he had a clear view of the witch.

He fired a bullet into her kneecap.

The witch screamed and fell to the ground.

It was an all out assault after that. The witch flung literal curses at the trio and used magic to knock them back. Peter distracted her mostly with physical blows, while Chris and Stiles switched off shooting bullets at the witch and setting up a spell that Deaton said would de-power the witch.

By the end of it, everyone was bleeding, and the witch was subdued and tied up.

Peter glared at Stiles as he tightened the witch’s bindings. “I recall in our original plan, you were supposed to stay hidden longer.”

Stiles shrugged. “I got angry.”

* * *

_Stiles needed to do something—anything to get the rest of the world to see the truth: he was in a relationship with Peter Hale and Chris Argent._

* * *

 

“I can’t believe I’m wearing this atrocious shirt,” Peter grumbled. He shoved one of his hands into his jeans’ pocket. He tilted his head so he could peer over the water park’s crowd.

“I’m still trying to figure out how he managed to convince me to wear mine.” Chris pinched the bridge of his nose, feigning annoyance, but really hiding the dust of red across his cheeks.

“With a blow job, dear.” Peter smirked.

“Hey!” Stiles whirled so he was walking backwards. It was the perfect position for Chris and Peter to see the specially made shirt Stiles had designed and ordered for himself. It have been a simple white tee if not for the two bold arrows pointing to either side of Stiles and the slogan above aforementioned letters declaring: “Yes, I’m dating both of them.”

”You two promised to wear the shirts and not complain.”

Peter scowled and tugged on his shirt that had an arrow pointing to the left declaring the same slogan as Stiles’. “I do not recall promising not to complain.”

Chris grinned. He wore a shirt that matched Peter’s but the arrow pointed to the right. “I agree with Peter, there were no promises about not complaining. Careful, Stiles, you’re walking into one of the pools.”

Stiles minded his step and maneuvered around the water, but almost hit a group of kids running past to get to one of the attractions.

“C’mon. It’s not like you two are even going to have the shirts on for long here. Although, they might look better on you wet.” Stiles made a show of licking his lips and eyeing Chris and Peter.

“Nice try, but unless we were to maintain our formation the whole time, these shirts would be useless,” Chris said. “They’ll just end up pointing to strangers who we have no interest in.”

Stiles frowned. He’d known _that_ when he’d ordered the shirts, but that didn’t mean he liked hearing the truth about how little the shirts helped him get across the point he was trying to make.

He didn’t need to be reminded that even with it emblazoned across his chest, everyone’s first assumption about his relationship with Chris and Peter was that Stiles was a young relative.

It sucked.

Stiles grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked it off over his head. “You know, what? Forget it. Let’s just enjoy the park.”

Peter and Chris hesitated. They exchanged a quick glance then copied Stiles.

Stiles trudged toward the largest water slide the park had to offer.

Stiles yelped when two arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him against a naked, muscled chest. Hot breath ghosted Stiles’ ear as teeth teased the shell.

“If you want to stake a claim, Stiles, there are far better ways to do it,” Peter purred.

“What are you talking about? I’m not—“

Stiles’ tangent was cut off by Chris, who tucked a finger under Stiles’ chin, tilted Stiles’ head up, and pressed a hard kiss to Stiles’ mouth.

Stiles’ eyes fluttered shut as he enjoyed the chaste kiss.

Chris smirked as he parted from Stiles. “It’s fine, Stiles. Peter and I don’t mind if you need to show off, or feel like you need to make it clear to others where you stand with us. We understand wanting to do that. …although, the shirts were a bit much.”

Stiles licked his lips. “Really? Because I was thinking maybe I should order new ones that read: My boyfriends. And then underneath mine I’ll have pictures of you two.”

Chris chuckled. “How about a little PDA instead?” He stepped closer so his chest was flushed with Stiles’ and his hands were on Peter’s hips.

Peter let out a wicked sound of delight as he marked up Stiles neck with nips and kisses.

Stiles shuddered and nodded eagerly.

Chris smiled and leaned down to kiss Stiles.

“Ugh. In a water park? You three are grown ass men. Save the making out with your boyfriends when you’re at home,” a middle-aged woman chastised as she walked past with her two kids.

Chris froze and so did Stiles.

A second later, laughter burst from Stiles, shaking him.

Stiles leaned his forehead against Chris’ and kissed Chris on the nose. “I love you guys.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story can also be read on [tumblr](http://akira-of-the-twilight.tumblr.com/post/129985782698/can-i-send-you-a-promt-a-5-1-thing-where-5-times/).


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